Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Embrace Acceptance to handle Emotional Disturbances

Have you ever wondered why you end up fighting with someone you love? Yes, we tend to argue, fight & opine in anger with people whom we love dearly. We believe God has bestowed us to be their guardian angels. In believing that, we tend to do everything for their good. It is natural to render care when we love someone, but do we even take a minute to reflect, if that is what they really want to do? Yes, we believe that we are doing things in their best interest but isn't it not their life? Don't they have a choice? We end up hindering them from having their own personal experience of an event and thereby disturbing their destined life.

We fail to realize, in our desperation to help them get the best out of their life, we force many things on them. Our intentions are right, but our actions aren't. Why do we fight with someone? Mostly when they don't see our point of view. Everyone has a right to their own perception of a certain situation. You can show them the other side but can't enforce them to view it like the way you do. Experience is the best teacher and so they will learn through experiencing it. Yes, our role is that of a guardian angel that shows the various possible ways and stands by, to let you take your own actions and so should we be too.

The key to balanced relationships is the ability to see other person's view and respect it. Acceptance leads to healthier discussions with neutral emotional ebbs.

It's not just the case in relationships among two people but also in a relationship with self. Yes, we share a bond with our own self and that requires same treatment as well. Self-acceptance is the key to peaceful living. Many a times, we don't accept our own actions; our own decisions; our own responses leading to discomfort. It is important to accept your own self for the world to accept you. If you have observed small kids, they are so blissful in acknowledging their efforts. You might have noticed a kid dance all by herself, singing to her own tune and clap for herself at the end. Yes, that's self-acceptance. You need to approve your own self! When we begin to accept the events(favourable & unfavourable) that occur in life - be it your own action or a universal response to your action - we begin to relax; gain composure and our mind is still enough to look for an appropriate course of action.

Next time, when you are angry, upset or disturbed - ask yourself - what is that you are resisting? Once you find your resistance, take a few deep breathes and begin to accept it the way it appears and ask what next - you will find an answer!

"What you resist, persists" - Carl Jung
"Acceptance is the way to bring in harmony" 


D said...

Beautifully written !
Acceptance is the way to attain satisfaction and Harmony TRUE !
But so many of us never accpet the dark things :(

Engram said...

Very nice post Divya. I still remember my father telling me do certain things and the resentment it created in me though he had my welfare in his thoughts. I now do the same with my daughters though they have the right to choose. Acceptance and no expectations is the sure path to satisfaction.

Destination Infinity said...

Acceptance is the way to bring in harmony. Not quality.

When someone struggles against something, and they are not able to express it, it often gets expressed over a creative platform. Its not by chance that great people / great artistic works followed after individual tragedies. And those people chose to express their discontent through art. If they had accepted the events as such, we would not have got great works.

We have to lose something to gain another. One can never have the cake and eat it too.

Destination Infinity

Bhagyashree said...

Thoughtful!! Nice post Divya

Divya said...

@ Deepak :-)

@ Engram - Yes, as we realize we learn to better accept our lives!

@ Destination Infinity - True, struggles make us stronger and help us unleash our inner desires/emotions in a creative manner.

But it is not just struggles that bring out fine quality, even a calm, composed mind can do wonders. Acceptance in no way guarantees no struggles in life. It only helps you handle them better. Eventually we all want to reduce our gloomy days and increase our happy days :) even if gloomy days result in expressing ourselves better. It's a choice that you make

@ Bhagyashree Thank you!

Akshay Kumar G said...

Profound and insightful. :)

Pranita said...

Oh my! U ve got me on this one... such deep message conveyed in such simple words... beautiful...
Am i glad i stumbled on your post? My answer wud b YES! :)

Subhorup Dasgupta said...

Great post, one of those that leaves you wishing you had been able to write it. Expectations and irrational beliefs can ruin relationships beyond repair, and is usually at the heart of most heartbreaks.

Ana_treek said...

Very nicely written..sometimes i try to control people, and things around me and i get so pissed off..bcos of this i have lost control many times and yelled..

indu chhibber said...

u highlighted a very positive trait--acceptance can build bridges,create harmony & erase heartache.