Tuesday, June 29, 2010


Does belonging to the 21st century make me any different from my mom and grand mom? The new age society has altered our way of living but can there be any variance in our biological wiring? We are women, we still tick the way we are meant to! Do we?

What has modernization over the ages done?

Increase in divorce rates, trending live-in relationships, and diminishing moral values.

Express ourselves (Self identity), experience independence and the ability to pursue our passion.

Are we the fulcrum to the functional Indian families? Is that the reason why, when we shift our focus on self, the families suffer? Our roles are augmenting, with freedom comes greater responsibility. Financial independence has given us the impetus to aspire and choose; the power to steer our lives. We have been deluged in celebrating independence that we have demented our essentiality.

Our right to choose has lifted imposed limitations, shattered social stigmas and broken confined rules attached to womanhood. The power to choose is a double edged sword, incautious exercising leaves indelible scars. The transitional women of the ester years were meticulous in handling the swords. They let empowerment enhance their character, opted with acumen and struck a balance. I know of women who had successful careers, denied promotions and basked in the glory of upbringing their children. They give in but didn’t give up. They limited their choices to widen the harmony of their family.

Have we lost the art of holding together? In the hurry to race, we have adapted to easier means to sustain our living, but can relationships also be made disposable? The supremacy of independence has got to our head chasing tolerance out of our character. We are undermining our etched roles of being the fulcrum deliberating it as confinement. Shedding the load of the fulcrum and embracing individuality would usher in singularity. The beauty of independence should be revered in companionship.

We need to take pride in our existence and purpose. I don’t believe in reservations for women, we don’t require special considerations; we are making progress. We can’t equal men, but we can compete. Nature has given us unique identities; it is time to revel in that fact. We may never be able to amass the physical strength of a man and so will a man never be able to express his concern, and care. This is the equation of the nature. Men have complimented women through the years. Our transformation wouldn’t have been possible if not for the Men who accommodate us.

Time can alter our attitude but I am no way different from my mom and grand mom. I am woman. I tick the way I am meant to be. I cannot but lift a falling child. Woman of today have to become aware of their inherent nature and not get carried away by empty façade of modernity.


“No, I don’t want to do it”


Conjuring an explanation for not wanting to indulge in an act that both of them knew wasn’t their best decision was being rhetorical.

“Does it need a reason?”

“Why suddenly?”

“It is not sudden!! “

“I know it’s not sudden, what is the chain of thoughts that led you to this”


What is the chain of thoughts? - was reverberating in her mind. She knew it, but couldn’t blurt it out.

She returned home, her mind still clogged with the chain of thoughts reeling back and forth in no particular sequence. Several times, she had attempted to reveal her thoughts. She was still unsure, if she succeeded in her attempts. In her empty room, the clock ticking, with her eyes shut, time froze.

Vinay and Diksha were good friends. Vinay, the street smart back bencher; Diksha belonged to the same league, being part of the notorious gang in class. Their eyes never met, they didn’t exchange trivial smiles, and they were friends. It wasn’t one of those friendships that were blossoming into love. There was no love-hate equation. She acknowledged, admired and appreciated certain traits in him and didn’t look beyond to explore. Vinay didn’t show any palpable interests in her, and it was least of her concern.

Phone beeped. Time leapt to the future.

They were huddled together, talking through the night as one friend after another dozed off to sleep. His hands around her, drowned in rational conversations to soft whispers, the warmth was hard not to oblige. In those moments, she sensed a fondness; she has never known him to flaunt. Was it or, was it not?

A moment she is able to cherish even as it unwinds.

It was beyond the years of peek-a-boo. They didn’t need a cupid. There was surge of emotion, a new expression of their fondness. In faith of their bonding, they satiated in each other’s wordless articulation of adulation. Diksha couldn’t comprehend the expeditious promulgation. She liked him, she enjoyed his presence around, and she didn’t want to reason further. She reciprocated; denying love from people you equally like is exigent.

It did raise a plethora of questions, faith shunned them away. Moments of extreme reasoning sent her frenzy; to be in a relation, the bonding should never be reasoned. In absence of words that lace the trust, crazy thoughts were hard to circumvent.

The chain of thoughts - Yes! I like him. I like being around him. I like his arms around me. I like his banters. I like him. I like being loved by him. Then, what’s wrong in accepting his love? His wordless connote of affection delineates love and its articulation.

Diksha forced her eyes open. She still held her faith in their bonding, despising her crazy thoughts. Vinay articulated the way he best believed in, it was for her to make a choice.

She always knew what she wanted. Now, she knew what she didn’t want.

Expecting to be loved in a manner that appeases you is being demanding! Conveying the expressions of love that exacerbates you is exercising your rights!!

Even love can’t be accepted in all forms.

Friday, June 25, 2010

kaleidoscopic 35 Mins

When I am not armed with my book, it’s hard not to notice the plethora of activities that takes place in the local trains. It can keep you entertained, enthralled and engrossed. I always take the ladies compartment unless I am running to catch the last compartment before it departs [Yes!! I run]. The probability of landing next to someone who is gossiping about their in-laws is always high, though I prefer to sit next to non-talkative women; this is just not possible ;) Of course they entertain you with all the affairs of their house hold; it gets to its peak when the other woman starts giving her expert advice. Phew! I don’t understand with so much of knowledge sharing [KT] that happens among women they still aren’t able to get over the woes of a married life.

The women in their mid 30’s and 40’s have been commuting by train for over decades and have their own trusted group of friends hopping on and off the stations. I wonder if we in the 20s can ever make such friendships – Train pals. I find most of them plugged to their IPods/Mobiles if they aren’t accompanied by the known. Are we the gadget spoilt brats of today? Well I don’t prefer to carry an IPod, otherwise how do you think I can hear all gossips ;) Honestly, with the background noise, it’s hard to enjoy your music yet find it easy to indulge in a book!! 20’s in groups are more entertaining because one gets to hear about boys ;) Now the story shifts to all love stories :) you can also find these odd singles constantly hooked onto their phones, wonder how they get signal when I don’t! Then you can find gals like me busy observing others or lost in their own. I am sure now you REALLY know how observant I am of my surroundings!

If all these aren’t just enough to keep you occupied, there are the vendors. I was indeed quite amused initially to find people sell all kinds of stuff at a very very reasonable price wondering if I am still within the limits of Chennai Metropolitan! My favorites are the vegetable and fruit vendors; where in the city do you get vegetables for 5 bucks and fresh [if you are alert]? Fruits for half the price to the ones I get close to home. Not to forget the joy in haggling, nah I isn’t good, still it’s fun. Evenings when you are just so hungry, you have vendors selling junk food, [read chips and its variants, pop corn etc], haven’t tried them though. The pick of edibles is the Hot, Hot [claimed to be] samosas! The aroma that it brings in is really hard to deny; despite the fact that your rational head says they aren’t hygienic. They taste just ok. You can easily munch your journey away!

Train commutation makes life simple, sans the traffic jams and road signals. It is definitely an aura packed with various genres of life. One gets interrupted mid way through a book reading more often than not by people asking for alms. It can be annoying at times, but it leaves me wondering all the time on the quality of life we are all bestowed up on. There are reasonable number of blind men and women who ask for alms as they croon, some even carry a microphone; the others prefer to sell books, cell phone covers and house hold utilities. What are even more quizzical are the tiny tots who perform different kinds of antics to earn a rupee or two. One gets to see all forms of poverty, disability and impoverishment here. Now that I feel is really a sad karmic connection, for who would want to be a witness to the sufferings of the ill-fated, everyday as you start to work.

The train system by itself is very good. It serves the purpose. You have train plying every fifth or tenth minute that talks for the frequency and schedule. Unless there is any mishap, you are always on time. Advantage women again, with ladies compartments and in the direction I commute, I get to be seated about 96% of the time. Now doesn’t that mean comfort? One thing that definitely needs some attention is the cleanliness factor, wish the stations and tracks could be kept clean [not maintained clean]; I just wish!

If you haven’t yet traveled in our local trains, I recommend you do to get a feel of a life whose existence you aren’t aware of. I have commuted by train only twice before I started commuting to work. It’s worth the experience if you are a keen observer who likes to wander around and be on your own. I am sure going to miss these journeys, but have taken a secret [?] resolution to hop on and off, when I want to be camouflaged in thoughts.