Living your fear!

In sequel to Facing your Fear, here I want to narrate my personal experience of coming face to face with my fear.

It took me many years to even realize that I am scared of doing this. I don’t know to swim and never ever gave it even a thought!

While I was in my teens and water sports were gaining prominence in our country, I happened to go to a place called Mehta water splash which house slides and pools. All my friends had a time of their life coming down the winding slides. I stood very apprehensive to put my first foot forward. I spent the day in the tiniest pool while my friends took up bigger challenges.

I am not sure, how things would have been if someone tried to allay my fears. No one did and I returned home content with my rendezvous in the kid’s pool.
On the contrary, I love the ocean! I dare into the deep sea and just love being among the waves.

I grew up unaware of any of these unconscious emotions till the day I decided to learn swimming or should I say till the day I was asked, “Why don’t you learn to swim?”

Just married and my husband wanted to spend some time at the pool. I bravely accompanied him till the pool and sat by, happy with my feet kissing the water. It is when he pulled me did I realize I don’t like being in.
“I don’t know to swim. So, why should I come in?”
“Why not, just relax!”
“No! I will drown.”
“Don’t be silly! You won’t drown in a 6 feet pool”
“You are crazy!” and I rushed out of the pool.

I sat and watched tiny-tots have a merry time in the pool. That night, I realized I fear I might drown. I don’t trust myself to take my foot off the ground!

Next day again, he cajoled me to enter the pool. I entered with great spirits inspired by the children bravely paddling their feet. I could never take my feet off nor could I immerse my head in.

I was determined to learning swimming. I was determined to face my fear.
Even then, I was not daring enough to enroll myself in a class. I didn’t trust anybody! I couldn’t trust myself into the hands of a new tutor. Just the thought of learning to swim in a new environment for dreadful.

But, I was resolved to learn. I decided He would be my tutor. I trusted only him with my life ;-)

I wanted a tutor who would listen to me and who better than your husband!
Many days and years passed. I never got an opportunity to swim. Neither did I create one. In between, I got one off chances and began slowly to get comfortable being in a pool or to take a dip with faith!

Today, in a country where every home has a swimming pool, my interests revived and I pestered him to take me to the pool. Lack of time on his side procrastinated things a bit but I was determined.

Finally now, I am in the pool taking my swimming lessons. I am a scared, sluggish and slow and can take the life out of my instructor but am also focused, arduous and patient!

Yes, I can now float on my own – with a little help (my instructor would say!)
The process has been rewarding! Cognitively, it has helped me understand myself better, my thoughts and my trepidations. When I actually did float, the feeling is inexplicable. To me, the end result does not matter, it is the process that does. I knew one day I will swim but how I do that was the challenge!

The moment one comes face to face with the fear and conquers is a defining moment!

I shared a love-hate relationship with water. Now, am turning it into an absolute love!