Parenting: Affirmative Toddler Transactions Helps In Shaping A Confident Adult

After a long time, here is a post from the world of psychology :-)

Do you have a toddler at home? As much as you are excited about the fact that your little baby is now up and running, you must also be exhausted at keeping pace with your toddler's incessant energy.

So what does being in the age group 1-3 years mean?

According to Erikson's Psycho-social model, the stage is known as Autonomy Vs Shame:

• The child's universe expands beyond the mother - the primary care taker. The child understands that its universe includes different other things and develops a sense of curiosity.
• It is at this stage the child begins to explore its environment.
• The child develops a feeling of self-control and a sense of independence
• Successful development at this stage, leads to autonomy and self-confidence.

During this stage, you will see your child wanting to do everything on their own. Adults at home are on their toes preventing the child from exploring as they fear the child might get hurt. Is it the right thing to do? How should we handle their enthusiasm? Let us understand how does a child develop a sense of control and independence at this stage? - Exploration and Achievement.

The child feels a sense of accomplishment when it climbs the sofa on its own. Have you seen the smile on the child's face when it does something naughty as we call it? To the child, he/she has done something incredible by carrying an household article from one room to another. It is natural for a child to meddle with things, carry articles, dump them in corners, climb over stools/tables/beds at this age. The child gains a feeling of self-control by experimenting with the objects in its world. When a child achieves its target it builds their self-confidence. If the child is not allowed to experiment then, the child develops a sense of doubt on its own abilities and feels ashamed.

What do we need to do as a parent?

• Stop stopping the child from experimenting. Let the child explore its environment. By preventing, the child experiences self-doubt and grows into adult who lacks confidence in his abilities.
• I am often asked the question, "How can I let my child play with electric socket knowing that it would dangerous?" I often see parents being over-cautious and stopping the child from doing anything. Be cautious but not restrained.
• Ensure that dangerous objects are not within the child's reach.
• Create an environment for the child to explore at home. It could be a small corner/room filled with objects that the child can meddle with. The objects need not necessarily be toys. 
• Be around when the child is practicing to climb. 
• If the actions your child attempts are too dangerous, distract the child but don't say NO to the child.
• A bump here and there is a part of growing up, don't get anxious. 
• Finally, it is the right age to get your child toys that help in development of motor skills.

It is seen that many adults who lack confidence have had protective parenting in their childhood. Nothing to take away from the parents, they did what they believed was best for the child. But now we know that by being overly protective we hinder the child's natural development process. Developing a sense of autonomy and good self-worth is essential to take on challenges ahead in life. 

Allow your child to explore, stay calm and smile with your child.

The voice of a common man!

India is gearing for elections 2014 and is witnessing one of the greatest political drama unfolding. I pity the common man, who is considered the most powerful at the moment. He has to make the right choice from the lesser of the evils over a cloud of allegations. Tough job indeed.

The political scenario has changed ever since the Aam Adami Party has contested the Delhi Elections. Indians are so desperate for clean politics that anybody who promises to bring the much needed change is looked up to as a savior. Humanity no longer functions on the basis of Trust, which is a pity. Unfortunately, it is not possible to have all the checks and balances before a common man can conclude - "He is clean". A cloud of doubt hovers around always. When trust evades humanity, deceit is all that is left over. It is not only the deceit of the political class over the common man, it is also the deceit of the common man over himself.

The games the politicians play to retain or gain power is unimaginable. Power corrupts the soul. I wonder, if they even take a minute to introspect what this race for power is all about and if they feel justified with their own reasons. The events that unfold everyday, only gives me a feeling, there is none I can trust to power. The country needs a leader with Integrity!

Arvind Kejriwal needs to do more groundwork, before he jumps the gun. He comes across as a man who is in a hurry to clean up the system, which is older than him. I am not sure if its his urgency or his temperament that is demeaning his name. It is indeed a move that we need to welcome, someone has taken the step forward to jump into politics and do the dirty job of cleaning, which most of us, educated Indians, shy away from.  One also needs to understand, "cleaning the system" can't and shouldn't be the only reason to form a party. I am yet to understand what is the vision of AAP for India. There is a long way to go for this man and his party and we the citizens shouldn't be overwhelmed by the wave of anti-corruption emotion. In today's scenario, with no basic trust in society, people raise all kinds of concerns that further muddles the mind. I, only hope this man's intentions are clean and he is not a pawn in the political game.

A party in power should seek votes by highlighting its achievements, whereas we have a  party in governance that seeks vote by promising us it would do more in its next term. A party that highlights that there are six bills in the waiting. Again, a party that is capitalizing on the anti-corruption movement and promising to tackle corruption with these bills. A party in power for 10 years couldn't pass these bills is telling the common man it would so in its next term. What is the party's vision for India's future? I can name a few bills in waiting FDI, Food security, etc. This party's vision for India is in passing bills. In India, it is the implementation of laws that takes a beating and it is not the lack of regulations. Apart from that the Government has to answer for the plethora of scams to its name. I agree, they are allegations as the Government sees it; in a world of deceit, this is all we can expect. Allegations proven or otherwise, the Government still needs to address the Nation on how such baseless accusations can be made. There are several records that hint towards irregularities. Let us put aside the debate of how heinous the crime is.

The national opposition party does not come with great record of achievements to its name. It is a party that has been looked upon as a party that would communalize the country; a party that would only represent only religion of India. India has been fighting the elections on the communal-secular front for years. Many years of education has done nothing to keep the forces of religion, caste and community out of our elections. If the Governing party was a truly secular party, shouldn't it have in its 60 years of rule, made the country truly secular and ceased to appease minority of the country in the name of vote bank politics. The opposition party has a term of 5 years to its name in Governance with a few scams; at least no series of scams that rocked the nation. In its 5 years, India was not stagnated by communal violence as was expected. Today, the opposition party is seeking votes, not highlighting its past tenure, aware that people's memory are short-lived, but seeking votes based on the performance of one man's governance in a state for three terms. Narendra Modi does come with his own baggage of Gujarat riots. His baggage also includes his many achievements as the Chief Minister of the state - 1MW solar power plant, E-services to Gram Panchayat, Rural electrification and more. The question remains to be answered - would this party leverage the goods delivered to Gujarat to the Nation or would it divide India?  The party in its campaigns, aggressively is pushing a growth agenda for India, which is conspicuously absent in others. Would the party walk the talk?

As vigilant citizens, we have risen high and made our Government and political leaders listen to our cry! Yes, we have succeeded in communicating that we our fed up of feigning ignorance to national looting that occurs. Have they heard it loud and clear? Would they try a new trick to satiate their hunger for power? Only General Elections 2014 and another 5 years of Governance will give us the answer. But, am sure our vigilance can keep away communal forces, scams and mis-governance. I am bit disappointed that common man has no provisions to oust Governments before the 5 year period, on valid reasons.

Development is only answer the common man is seeking!

We have been mislead and will be mislead; it is up to us to tear the mask of deceit and rebuild trust.

My new hobby!

Crystal stone 

Wooden bead

Crystal beads chain

Paper quilled Jumki's (My Favorites)

Paper quilled ear-ring

Back in Jo'burg

It has been 12 days since i landed here. Many of my friends are asking me if i have settled, if settling means having a roof over my head and 3 meals to eat then, yes am very well settled :-) I wonder how people settle in a new country! Do their emotions ever settle? I can't comment so early, but in my experience after having met many people who have lived away from home for many years, i can only say "deep" down there is a state of void.

I had been so busy last year and it wasn't a kind of job that kept me occupied. At the end of every day, when i went back to myself i was content, i had very little to crib. So, to be exploring now and starting my career afresh appears to be more than challenging! I have moved from one profession to another once in my life, that had been quite a challenge and now to have a new profession in a new country - you know what am talking about. If you have been down that path, leave a word of encouragement ;-)

I am back to being the jack of all trades!

Happy New Year 2014

Happy New Year folks!!


2013 - Blog count - 1 

Life kept me busy and I didn't make an effort to visit my blog space. I feel so bad! Thanks to my friend, who wrote a novel else I wouldn't have made that single post too. Pity!

I hope 2014 is better and I promise to self to write more this year. I am traveling back to South Africa and that is going to give me more time to write!

See you soon with more thoughts.

Wishing you guys a prosperous & peaceful year!

Book lovers attention please!

Dear Fellow Bloggers,


How many of you like the smell of a new book and still in the habit of picking up a paperback? If you love reading books and would like to write book reviews, then here is an opportunity to review

Newton's Law Reversed by Howard Roark

Please drop a comment or mail your interest to divya.palaniappan@gmail.com, we will send you a copy of the paperback to your address.

You can review the book on your blog and send the link to us.


Thank you!

Newton's Law Reversed

I am happy to announce the launch of my friend's first fiction - Newton's Law Reversed published by Leadstart corporation. He writes under the pen name Howard Roark inspired by the protagonist of Ayn Rand's Fountainhead.

It is been a long and an interesting journey for him, from his first draft to a final print on hand. I am glad I was a part of the journey and was able to contribute my bit in his artistic endeavour. As bloggers, we know how hard it is to get our writing published and what it takes to express our thoughts in words.

I recommend reading his book, not because he is my friend but for his earnest efforts as a writer.

The book is available on

Infibeam

Rediff Books

Crossword

Landmark

Leadstart



Like his Facebook page to follow updates on the book.



Happy Reading!!