Friday, June 25, 2010

kaleidoscopic 35 Mins

When I am not armed with my book, it’s hard not to notice the plethora of activities that takes place in the local trains. It can keep you entertained, enthralled and engrossed. I always take the ladies compartment unless I am running to catch the last compartment before it departs [Yes!! I run]. The probability of landing next to someone who is gossiping about their in-laws is always high, though I prefer to sit next to non-talkative women; this is just not possible ;) Of course they entertain you with all the affairs of their house hold; it gets to its peak when the other woman starts giving her expert advice. Phew! I don’t understand with so much of knowledge sharing [KT] that happens among women they still aren’t able to get over the woes of a married life.


The women in their mid 30’s and 40’s have been commuting by train for over decades and have their own trusted group of friends hopping on and off the stations. I wonder if we in the 20s can ever make such friendships – Train pals. I find most of them plugged to their IPods/Mobiles if they aren’t accompanied by the known. Are we the gadget spoilt brats of today? Well I don’t prefer to carry an IPod, otherwise how do you think I can hear all gossips ;) Honestly, with the background noise, it’s hard to enjoy your music yet find it easy to indulge in a book!! 20’s in groups are more entertaining because one gets to hear about boys ;) Now the story shifts to all love stories :) you can also find these odd singles constantly hooked onto their phones, wonder how they get signal when I don’t! Then you can find gals like me busy observing others or lost in their own. I am sure now you REALLY know how observant I am of my surroundings!

If all these aren’t just enough to keep you occupied, there are the vendors. I was indeed quite amused initially to find people sell all kinds of stuff at a very very reasonable price wondering if I am still within the limits of Chennai Metropolitan! My favorites are the vegetable and fruit vendors; where in the city do you get vegetables for 5 bucks and fresh [if you are alert]? Fruits for half the price to the ones I get close to home. Not to forget the joy in haggling, nah I isn’t good, still it’s fun. Evenings when you are just so hungry, you have vendors selling junk food, [read chips and its variants, pop corn etc], haven’t tried them though. The pick of edibles is the Hot, Hot [claimed to be] samosas! The aroma that it brings in is really hard to deny; despite the fact that your rational head says they aren’t hygienic. They taste just ok. You can easily munch your journey away!

Train commutation makes life simple, sans the traffic jams and road signals. It is definitely an aura packed with various genres of life. One gets interrupted mid way through a book reading more often than not by people asking for alms. It can be annoying at times, but it leaves me wondering all the time on the quality of life we are all bestowed up on. There are reasonable number of blind men and women who ask for alms as they croon, some even carry a microphone; the others prefer to sell books, cell phone covers and house hold utilities. What are even more quizzical are the tiny tots who perform different kinds of antics to earn a rupee or two. One gets to see all forms of poverty, disability and impoverishment here. Now that I feel is really a sad karmic connection, for who would want to be a witness to the sufferings of the ill-fated, everyday as you start to work.

The train system by itself is very good. It serves the purpose. You have train plying every fifth or tenth minute that talks for the frequency and schedule. Unless there is any mishap, you are always on time. Advantage women again, with ladies compartments and in the direction I commute, I get to be seated about 96% of the time. Now doesn’t that mean comfort? One thing that definitely needs some attention is the cleanliness factor, wish the stations and tracks could be kept clean [not maintained clean]; I just wish!

If you haven’t yet traveled in our local trains, I recommend you do to get a feel of a life whose existence you aren’t aware of. I have commuted by train only twice before I started commuting to work. It’s worth the experience if you are a keen observer who likes to wander around and be on your own. I am sure going to miss these journeys, but have taken a secret [?] resolution to hop on and off, when I want to be camouflaged in thoughts.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Mind notes

The incidents in my life are teaching me a lesson to ‘follow my heart’.

I am being presented with many lucrative opportunities that I have no propensity for, but they are what any normal person would aspire for, in our social setup. I never was and am a person who would carry out tasks just because they are acceptable by standard norms.

I do believe in engaging in deeds that brings in self satisfaction, yet these lessons are unveiling a novel rendition. As these incidents unfold, my astute consciousness, comprehends beyond my limited self. I discern that I have always struck a balance between what I needed and what was acknowledged by the people around.

Every happening in my life is stringed by choices that are irresistible to decline, yet I am learning to do so without self-guilt. I should accept it is quite hard on one self to say no to things that you know your next door neighbor is chasing relentlessly. It isn’t worth to accept car if you know you aren’t going to use it, even if the car is the BMW. Our mental make up is to take things that are deemed good/valued by standards of living and not by our own.Taking the first step towards a less travelled path is demanding, but if that’s what you yearn for, face it, the society will make it a norm on your success. The moments of decision making can be stressful, but remember the lesson is important. It is natural to go with the crowd; luckily my friends and family back me up constantly, which makes resisting easier.

Once you gain clarity on what you want, resolving this friction should get evident. I know not what life holds, I know the joy of learning.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Idiosyncrasy of life

It was a quiet evening; Sham was all by himself in his suave apartment in deep thoughts, when the phone rang. It took a minute to get a hold of him, as he maneuvered across to the phone. He was in silence as he heard the shuddering voice on the other side. He walked back and slouched down on the beige leather sofa in his living room. He made a few hasty calls before he walked in to take a shower. He was plunged in thoughts as the cab driver drove me through the familiar streets of the city he had made his home. Today, he had to leave immediately to his country, to keep a promise he had made 2 years back.

As the cab approached the drive way, he was quite content, having arranged his travel to India in a short notice. The travel was in the cards and he had been making arrangements to get his vacation sanctioned, but this call was too sudden and he couldn’t bother about the nitty-gritty of work. This is an emergency; he had to take the next flight out to make his life meaningful.

On board, the instructions of the flight attendants echoed in the background, his focus was on only one person. As the flight took off, soaring high, making its altitude, his thoughts spun backwards into a distant past. He was young and a careless teenager who went to college for a past time. It is in those hours of travel to his college in the trains, he saw Nisha. He was perched precariously onto the train, swaying in the wind, when she glanced at him. The glances turned to glares that made way to a typical friendship on the trains.

The dark clouds that he was staring into, being a part of the blue sky, took him to another time, the monsoons in Kerala. Heavy rains were lashing out in the state; they were caught in the gusty weather by the shore. They ran to the shelters nearby, stood in silence, letting the breeze sway in their ears. In those silent moments, their expressive eyes revealed love, stealing their hearts, with the trickling rain drops being the testimony.

“Seat belts on” He looked at his wrist watch another 15 minutes to land. Engulfed in the pleasant thoughts, he knew he had a task ahead, his future was at stake. He was pondering hard, in another few hours, he would be meeting Nisha’s dad, and her wedding was fixed with another groom and is scheduled to happen in 2 days. What would he tell her dad that would change his mind? How can he convince him to let them marry? He had to get his approval, there was no time. Nisha was in shatters and she needed him now, more than ever. As his thoughts were spiraling into a web of intricate knots, there was sudden loud noise, the aircraft spun out of the run way. In a split second, his thoughts evaporated in a gulf of thick fumes, before he could comprehend the situation, plane hit a blockade and tore to pieces.

Nisha was awaiting sham’s arrival to start a new life.

[Dedicated to the people on board, the fateful Mangalore bound flight. Each soul has a story to say. Love and Light. ]

Monday, May 24, 2010

Second, and counting ...

I can’t believe i am married for 2 years. Time flies fast, the 2nd year has been quicker than the 1st, or at least so it seems! The celebrations this year was downplayed by large due to my exams, nevertheless it was special indeed. Anniversary doesn’t tantamount to a day of celebration, but is a reminiscent of the moments through the year!

My perception of marriage has completely changed after mine, for good though ;) The beauty of a marriage completely lies with the couple. Views on marriage can’t be passed in general, all spouse jokes target the maximum density points on the bell curve, exceptions are always there, both extremes, which extreme yours lies depends on your spouse and you !

I am really glad, He is my man. I am definitely blessed! Beyond this I don’t want words to express, for those emotions are special and will be held close to me.

I am wishing us a stronger lasting bond and many more years of togetherness through the rough and smooth tides. Let’s sail them all, hand in hand.

Dated: 18th May 2010

Retired hurt; but not out

It’s that time of the year students await the most, having taken their final exams; it is time away from books, time to relax and enjoy! This year, around that time, I appeared for my exams. After 5 years it sure does feel different. I couldn’t fill my blog space, as I had to spend time studying to fill my answer sheet :)

I really can’t say what emotions this particular exam brought in, for it was really a long wait for me. I always intended to get back to academics, but for some reason, it never happened for 5 years! I am glad it finally did. In many ways, it is quite odd, first, the time it took and second the discipline I chose to study!

Exams are exams. Nothing can change them, no matter how old you get! The difference this time around was, there were million other things to bother, apart from the exam itself. Work, for instance, I decided to juggle between the two, so I didn’t take off during my exams. I went to work in the morning, and then went to take my exams. It was quite strenuous. For those who are still wondering what exam I am talking about, it is my first year of studies in psychology.

I have somehow always liked studying; it gives me a sense of fulfillment. This was no exception; the subject is interesting, though when you study from an exam point of view, you hardly do any justice.

It was a mixed bag of emotions! On one hand, it sure did feel good, on another, it sent my thoughts pondering over our educational system. The exam definitely didn’t test the proficiency on the subject. It was the same old methodology of answering descriptive questions which gives the room for people to write what they please. Why can’t we have direct, objective questions that would need people to be specific with their answers? I know, many who are reading this might think, that would be the final nail in the coffin for the student community. But, isn’t the whole point of studying losing its purpose in this system? Since this is a distance education curriculum, I also feel, there could have been periodic assessment in the way of case studies, reports and research studies. Why aren’t we (The Educational Sector) in India using the Internet as a potential tool in imparting various courses and using the same to be connected? Nevertheless, I know none of these changes are to come anywhere in the near future.

Besides these down sides, I still am glad I took the step ahead, for it was these same down sides that kept me away from the system for so long! I had to make a choice, couldn’t hang around. It is better you make the most of what is available, learning doesn’t end with taking up exams, it goes beyond. The system can only accredit your knowledge in particular discipline, it can never measure it holistically. I needed the accreditation, and my learning would continue; it has just begun. I really want to be part of another educational system and see if it makes a difference. I really do! Wish I don’t have to wait another 5 years. LOL !! I wouldn’t, I am making it happen soon! Till then, I wish to assist a clinical/counseling psychologist in their practice, anybody who can help, please do let me know. You can also reach out to me, if you may need any assistance in dealing with your mind :)

P.S: I still code for a living ;)

[As a side note, for my own recording, I would like to pen down, that there are lot of subtle interesting things happening in my life, from the time I decided to heal and open up]

Friday, May 7, 2010

Know your body

We have all been taught about the different parts and functional systems of our body. We may not recall their functionality in entirety but would definitely be able to relate that the intestine is a part of the digestive system, the kidneys as a part of the excretory system, the lungs as a part of the respiratory system and so on. Is that all to our body? I believed so, till a few years back.

If I make a statement, “you have more than one body”, would you doubt my sanity? Of course, we all have only one physical body, one physical self that we can see and sense, does that limit us to believe we are encompassed of only biological parts that we studied way back in school?

We are a system of energy, implying that there is more to our existence beyond our physical body. Getting to the other aspects of our self, the science of yoga, delves the concept of tri-shashira, meaning three bodies, one of which is our physical body with mass. Sukshma shariram, the subtle body, it is believed to house the individual mind. The last is the karana shariram, the causal body that veils the soul. I found it marveling to discover the possibility of a vital force within, and the fact that I existed without realizing my own true self was quite stupendous. Many literatures, also refer to seven types of subtle bodies, Etheric, Emotional, Mental, Astral, Etheric template, celestial and causal body. I kind of see them as more specific layers of the three broader classification of the body.

Chakras are the energy centers or vortexes which permeate energies from physical points to the subtle bodies. There are seven major chakras in our subtle body, starting from the base of spine, the root chakra, navel chakra, solar plexus, heart, throat, third eye and the crown chakra. The energies flowing through each of the chakras correspond to the well being of the respective regions to which they are positioned.

The energy (vital force or prana) flows through our gross body, through Nadis, astral tubes , 3 main nadis are ida, pingla and sushmana nadi. There are more than 72000 nadis that run through our body. Pranayama, the breathing techniques help cleanse the nadis.

The three bodies are encased in five sheaths. The five koshas/sheaths are Annamaya Kosha(Food), Pranamaya Kosha(Energy), Manomaya Kosha(Emotional), Vijnyanamaya(Intellect) and Anandamaya(Bliss) kosha. The pranic or energy sheath encompasses the chakras and the nadis.

Doesn’t that seem more complex than the nervous system? A Vital living force that flows intricately, connecting our physical self, with the subtle and the higher self’s, is truly a potential force within. Kundalini is the coiled dormant potential that lies at the base of the spine, the root chakra. The Awakening of this potential is the awakening of the consciousness/awareness to connect with the cosmic consciousness.

The benefits of the each of these energy systems are tremendous. Holistically, tapping/channeling this energy is to elevate our inner consciousness. Cleansing the energy flow paths, leads to enhanced utilization integrating the body and mind. The balance needed to maintain physical well being, to attain a clear mind and to unify with The One. The potential is within us, dormant!

Friday, April 16, 2010

The Lost city of Dwaraka – Era of Mahabharata

Is Mahabharata an epic or history? The way modern day Television serials have portrayed the events of Mahabharata, has made us all believe such fancy wars could have never been fought by mankind. One image that conjures to my mind when I recollect watching the serial beside my grand mom is the arrows flying in the blue sky against the backdrop of the clouds, traveling unimaginable distances. Definitely one from the fairy tales! Hold on, Could it be possible that the Sanskrit scriptures have described all the instruments and weapons used with such intricate details that the man kind of today hasn’t seen? If an AK-47 was mentioned, the director of the serial would have definitely made sure it is presented well, but what if the scriptures describe flying machines beyond our current day perception?

The Kurukshetra war was fought for only 18 days but the loss was of about 3 million people and the war narrative goes to more than quarter of the book. Isn’t it weird? Does an 18 day war need so much of literary work? Why does a piece of fiction need such intricate details and recording of events? Emotions ran high in this war, as it was the war among the siblings; we have all been engrossed in the emotional aspect of the war for ages that we have failed to give importance to the technical/scientific aspects. Going beyond the television serials, we really need to get to the actual literature, may be then our perceptions would change.

A part of the verse that describes the Kurukshetra war in the Sanskrit scriptures of Mahabharata:

"Gurkha, flying a swift and powerful vimana (fast aircraft) hurled a single projectile (rocket) charged with the power of the Universe (nuclear device). An incandescent column of smoke and flame, as bright as ten thousand suns, rose with all its splendor.

It was an unknown weapon, an iron thunderbolt, a gigantic messenger of death, which reduced to ashes the entire race of the Vrishnis and the Andhakas.

The corpses were so burned as to be unrecognizable. Hair and nails fell out; Pottery broke without apparent cause,and the birds turned white.

After a few hours all foodstuffs were infected, to escape from this fire the soldiers threw themselves in streams to wash themselves and their equipment."

- Mahabharata

An 18 day war leading to such large scale destruction could have only been a war that had used nuclear powers or the likes.Lord Krishna had to show the righteous path during this battle. If Mahabharata is history then Lord Krishna should have taken birth in our land! Isn’t it?

Dwaraka is a city and a municipality located in the Jamnagar district of Gujarat state in modern India. It was the dwelling place of Lord Krishna. Today’s remains of the city do not match up to the descriptions of the city in our ancient scriptures as the thriving and the most well planned golden city. The city is said to have had 700,000 palaces made of gold, silver and other precious stones. To our human mind it just seems implausible for such a thriving city to disappear. Well then you will have to remember the time lines which we are talking of, around 3100 B.C.

It is believed that the city disappeared after the death of Lord Krishna, and the recent archaeologically findings of Dr. S.R.Rao substantiate it. It is believed that due to damage and destruction by the sea, Dwaraka has submerged six times and modern day Dwarka is the seventh city to be built. Many structures found under the sea bed in the recent excavations off the coast of modern day Dwaraka shows findings similar to the descriptions of the city mentioned in ancient scriptures, further excavations from beneath the earth show ruins of a well planned city. Watch this video of the excavations of the lost city of Dwaraka.

Isn’t there a history in these findings? Well, what is known to mankind is little, the unknown is limitless. We are all bound by the limitations of our sensory and cognitive perceptions!