Stop Buzzzzing !

Buzzzzz…. I restrained from waking up, wishing it would silent itself. It only got worse with its friends joining! I wonder if they were having a late night party near my ear lobes. Phew! Sultry, hot and this annoying noise, I couldn’t but wake up. Welcome to the summers in Chennai, power cuts are just unavoidable. I realized ever since man started using the racquet to get better of these creatures, they are more resolved and come in as an army cadre with a vicious notion to attack, annoy and agitate. Off late, there is been a population explosion in their community, I wonder what’s their strategy towards birth control, if at all they have one! It is totally different experience wading mosquitoes while watching an IPL match to waking up in the middle of the night to realize your fort of comfort has been conquered. There were scores and scores of mosquitoes attacking from all possible directions, the racquet ran out of charge killing only about 1/10 of them. So much for the inventions that man makes!

It was hard to believe that a minuscule creature can have you at your knees begging and pleading either, for the night to break into dawn or for the blessed electricity department to wad their magic wand to restore power. I am not exaggerating when I say there were thousands of them blissfully buzzing not just right at the ears, but all over the place. There was nothing much I could do, and feeling helpless can bring all your spirits down, and being helpless to a mosquitoes, do I have to get to the details?? We managed to find some coils, wishing it would serve its purpose, I am not sure if it did anything at all to those dreadful creatures, it definitely did choke us. I went into my spree of sneezing, now that’s the last thing I wanted. I heard the tick of the electronic gadgets booting, and the whip of my fan, and I heaved a huge sigh of relief! It was not about the couple of hours of sleep lost, but staying in midst of their buzzing and stings, torturous indeed when it is stuffy and hot. Only if they had learnt their music lessons well, I wouldn’t have had to go through this agony of listening to a monotonous rhythm. No matter how tiny you may be, united you beat even the most intellectual creature, that’s the lesson for the night.

I wonder what could be purpose of the existence of mosquitoes in the ecosystem. Please shed some light, I can’t think of any but to annoy mankind. If by any chance these creatures are lost in an unknown territory, I would be more than glad to guide them to their place of abode.

I better gear up and be armed for another similar night, with the summer in, power cuts are sure to get frequent. Enlighten me with any successful strategies that you may have, I need them the most! I am ready to even strike a truce with their leader. Hey! Queen of mosquito, listen to me. Let us get into an agreement of mutual existence without harming one another. Can we?

A night to remember

It is 7.10 on his watch; she hasn’t returned home, they were to travel and the train was scheduled for departure at 9.15 P.M. He was restless.

7.15, Beep..Beep! She opens her inbox to read, “W u?” She looks across at her boss, who had failed to notice her fidgeting. She was thinking of an excuse that would help her get out of the meeting and head home to pack her bags. Her boss was animated; he was aghast with the team for leaking several bugs to the production. She knew all wasn’t well, yet she had to go.

Vikas and Reema were going to meet after seven long years. Their life’s had taken different turns, since they left college. Vikas, the vibrant young lad in college, stung by the ‘study in the US of A’ bug did not sit for his placements, while Reema was placed in one of the top tier Indian IT services company much to the joy of her family and friends. They had been ‘good’ friends through college. Even the last day of college, couldn’t help them express their feelings, they bid farewell without any remorse.

Tonight – a night they longed for!

College days, the days of fun and frolic, where the only worries one had to handle were exams. Drowned in enthusiasm and camouflaged in the promises of the future, Vikas and Reema failed to see the companion in each other. Vikas went on to prepare for his zillion exams that test his proficiency of English at his home town in Bangalore. Reema was complacent, having landed with a coveted job.
Reema was soon married off to, yet another Software Engineer in Bangalore. Life portrayed a picturesque canvas for the newly married, and Reema joined in her new job after couple of months. Life wasn’t all that rosy as it seemed, it started throwing surprises for her. Reema’s husband Raj was brought up in a town down south and the sudden bloom in the IT industry took him to plush city like Bangalore. They could not complement each other; Reema wanted a man whom she could confide in. A man who could listen to her in silence, a man who could guide her through difficulties, a man who could pamper her with words and a man who could understand her inside out . Raj, on the other hand loved his wife because she is a women, a women who should take care of him and his needs without any reciprocals. Life’s every surprise and each disturbing act from her husband reminded her of Vikas. She matured into women, the girl in her faded into oblivion, she needed a man. Every day she wished, she would meet Vikas at the traffic junction like in the movies. In Reality it never happened.

Vikas, enjoyed his days in Bangalore, he was immersed into the city’s true flavor. He met many girls at the various parties he went to every night, but every morning he came back longing for Reema. He got admit to study in the US, he flew to the land of million dreams. One dream was lurking forever, to meet Reema and tell her what she meant to him.

Years went by; Vikas fell in love with Rita. The days in love were Vikas’s best moments in life. Every moment with her brought in happiness, the times spent together; the long drives across the states, the treks down the valleys, the walks along the shore- Life was bliss. Every time, she walked into his apartment there was a magic, a magic that would transform his life. They decided to wed and moved in together, hell broke loose, the magic was ethereal. Living under same roof, brought their differences to light. Life’s beauty just did not lie in sharing joy but in combating the hurdles. They faltered to shoulder the responsibilities in unison. They split.

Reema didn’t not belong anywhere; her job was no more interesting. She felt her potential was being undermined not just at work, but at her very home. She decided to reach out and socialize to soothe herself, much to the objection of her husband. She met her old friends, began her hunt for Vikas. Reema’s life was beckoning for fresh energy; she knew bearing a child was not it. She could not let herself nurture a new life in the calamity of her clouded mind. She distanced herself from her husband, Raj could not handle it when, his only avenue of pleasure was plugged. He became eccentric. Reema decided to end her marriage with Raj.
Reema went on to live alone, it brought her peace, but it could not fill the emptiness. Vikas lived through this break up without socializing, he went into the oblivion, but came out strong. He returned to India for good, with all the charm for the US dead.

Vikas, wanted to meet Reema. Being in the city they had studied, made him nostalgic. As he walked down the streets, the infamous Xerox shops, the Pani Puri stall, the coffee shop, everything brought pleasant memories. The laughter echoed through his lonely nights. The little arguments they had, the patch up there after- sweet indeed to reminiscent. He recollected the days they struggled together to get their project working, even through adversity, they held on.

He slumped into his chair, reliving the moments, every night; his laptop being is only true companion. He had received a mail from his boss seeking status on his work; she switched tabs to run through the umpteen friend’s requests on Facebook. His eyes were transfixed, he stopped scrolling, and his lip widened into a smile, the name Reema was glaring! It was a friend request from Reema.

Vikas: Hello! How have you been?
Reema: Life had interesting twists for me, I have survived them.
Vikas: Reema, you sound the same. Let us catch up over a coffee to tell our tales.
Reema: Let us get out of town!
Vikas: Well, the ocean to stand testimony to our lives?
Reema: You always knew what I needed. This weekend it is.
Vikas: Sure! I will have it arranged; I can’t wait to see you.
Reema: So am I.

8.00 P.M, Reema dashed out of the meeting faking a Headache. She rushed home, threw in few clothes, it didn’t not matter how she appeared before him.
Beep...Beep! ‘I will be there at the station in 15 mins’. Vikas looked at his watch, it was 8.45 P.M. He smiled.

9.05 P.M, He spotted Reema walking towards him. Time froze for a moment; He stood alone amongst thousands of passengers on the platform. The moment passed and time rewound to his last day at college, not his first love but His first mistake.
Reema waved at him, they hugged and jumped in to their compartments and the train took off.

They sat across each other in silence. As Vikas began to speak, she interrupted to say ‘I need you’. Vikas bent over to plant a kiss on her forehead. His hands went over her shoulders, setting her silky hair behind her ear lobe. He fondled beneath her neck, held her in his arms and responded, ‘I have been in love with you ever since’. She whispered, ‘I know’. Their eyes spoke a language of love; they kissed for a prolonged moment.


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My first (deliberate) attempt to write a short story :) Looking forward to all your comments/suggestions and criticisms !!

Absolute Vs Relative

Nah, this is not about the jargons in the computer world, it is the scale of self evaluation. In the mad race to compete, succeed and make money, if we fail to pause and evaluate, the very race would turn into a staggered rush to the podium. In my race to find peace and satisfaction, I often look back and look within.

In one such introspection, I found in the current system of rating success relatively, I was an absolute women! Every significant achievement in my life was benchmarked against my own. I believed in giving my best and the results it fetched were only a consequence, never an event. Today I realize this method of assessing was imbibed in me very early on, and the races I compete in off late have made a revelation.

My First:

At work, I have always drawn a bell curve for my own performance; I have never tried to fit myself in the irrational bell curve of the masses. It doesn’t matter if I do better than the rest; it only perturbs me when I realize I did one short of my best. Yes, so I place myself at level 2, though I deserve to be at level 1 by the system of relative grading, followed by large at work place. Life’s lesson comes slow and hard. Time revealed my cognitive process of absoluteness, only helped me better myself but didn’t help me position myself in the race. I was running a race where I was the only competitor.

My Second:

Recently I was competing in Speech contests, there again I realized and understood how my cognition towards competition works. I was trying to get the best out of me as a speaker, and the candid me knew I had areas to improve upon, which by my cognition implies I am not the best. My cognition fails to understand, every speaker would also have some areas to improve and I can be better than the rest, which makes me the best out there. I have never looked at it that way; the satisfaction of having given the best can only crown me as a “Winner”.

I began to look back and see, from where did I form this cognition? It comes from my school days. I always aimed to be absolute. I have never wanted to come first in class; I have always wanted to score 100. That made the difference. Every target that I had sent in my life was absolute, they were measurable by the standard scales of measurement, and it worked well for me. I can recollect every instance in my life and realize all of them were absolute. When I couldn’t be top the class in a semester, my target for the next semester was to score 90 and above, I stood first.

Now, the absolute system doesn’t prevail I believe, in the survival of the fittest, it is all about how relatively fit you are. I still feel, absolute scale helps you bring in the best in you, but experiences have taught me it has to be weaved in with relativity. I feel one has to be absolute while setting targets and working towards it, after the execution, it has to be a relative evaluation to position oneself. Give yourself a chance by being relative despite the fact that you haven’t been able to pull it off completely, for the rest might not have come even half way long. Likewise don’t be absorbed into the relative scale that wouldn’t help the individual explore his true potential; one would be basked in the glory of relative success rather than absolute capacity. From absolute woman, will have to transcend into relatively absolute fine lady! I better learn to make an event out of what I strive for, rather it be a consequence of my excellence.

Heal yourself

Steaming pizzas, crispy fries, fizzy coke, wish you had them for the next meal? It is quite natural to yield to your tantalizing taste buds. I love my food and an eclectic menu entices me. I am an epicurean to my colleagues. Can loving food be wrong? No, not all! But just happened to realize that I did not know about the nature and constituent of the food that I was allured to. My only criterion for consumption was it at to be edible and I could relish any genre of food. Little did I know that each ingredient had its own effect on my body! Like every human being, etched distinctly on earth so are the various different herbs, plants and animals. I pursued on a mission to know my body better, to understand the nuances of its physical functioning. Today, I am better enlightened on my body, thanks to Ayurveda, the earliest science of life.

According to Ayurveda, every person requires a tailored treatment, and there is no concept of universal remedy. What is a disease? From the very word, it clearly implies, ‘one is not at ease’. What causes a person not to be at ease? Imbalance. Our body is balanced by three humors; vata (air in space - wind), pitta (fire in water -bile) and kapha (water in earth -phlegm). Find your Dosha here. Any imbalance to any one of these humors causes a discomfort. Each human possesses a unique combination of Doshas and hence the tailored treatment. Unlike the modern day medicine that focuses on alleviating pain, Ayurveda focuses on the cause, the imbalance.

How does one strike a balance among the three doshas? Intriguing simple – what you intake primarily regulates the balance. The food you eat can play on your mind as well, disturbing the balance. As a first step, one should know what their Dosha is, and become aware of the self. The realization of the self is a utopian feeling, believe me once you are here, you will know what to eat and what not to. The food by itself is the medicine. It is deplorable that in this modern world, we have lost to connect with our age old practice that inevitably makes these our way of living. If you remember your grandma instructing you to gulp Castrol oil fortnightly, or your mother preparing decoctions, yes they were all done with a purpose. Like any machine, our body needs overhauling too. It is not too late, if you crave for healthy and sound living, get conscious of what you intake. It is just not enough to go on diet for 30 odd days and then get back to savaging every meal. Imbibe it in your lifestyle; it has to be the way you live and not for what you live.

Tulsi, means “the incomparable one”. Tulsi is an antioxidant and adaptogen. It is used as remedy for fever, common cold, coughs, sore throat, respiratory disorder, reproductive ailments, skin disorder, and mouth infections; regulate blood sugar, insect bites among the many. It purifies the blood and can extend the lifespan of individuals. Can you believe that a small shrub could have so much of healing power? No wonder this plant is being revered in India. Tulsi is considered to be the only plant that releases Ozone along with oxygen in the early photosynthesis stage, a reason for its place in the center of every household. It purifies the surrounding environment and keep insects (mosquitoes, bedbugs etc) away. Bingo! I found a solution to mosquito menace in Chennai. 5-6 leaves of Tulsi a day can keep the doctor away.

Discover the constituents of your food and rediscover your body to give yourself the much deserved – A healthy living.

Communicate sans barrier

Do you know what the world’s number one fear is? Fear of death? Fear of flying? No, most studies suggest that it is the fear of public speaking. Have you ever wondered, if you would be able to articulate your thought across to room of strangers and convince them to act? I haven’t. It wasn’t one of my biggest fears. I could speak to people at ease; I could make a presentation to a hall of gathering after taking in a few breathes. Mark twain once said, there are two kinds of speakers in this world, those feel nervous and the rest all are liars. I am not a liar, no one can deny not being nervous, but one can still make a neat presentation controlling their nervousness. I fall into that category.

One afternoon, I was egged to join a colleague of mine to visit Toastmasters club, a forum that helps to hone your speaking skills. With little option left, I trudged along to join a group of people seated formally. I won a ribbon for the best table topic speaker of the day. It helped me rediscover a speaker in me which I never paid attention to, but what impressed me the most was, the camaraderie in the room and the positive energy that exuberates in any Toastmasters club. I found it as an avenue to network with people. With time, I realized’ Evaluations’, makes Toastmasters unique. In this cut throat world, we have very little time to stop , acknowledge , correct and help our fellow human beings, the race is ran so hard that we fail to realize we have only created stampedes instead of leaving behind trails. This place is an exception, you enter a Toastmasters meeting, everything around you slows down, and you progress!

The entire program is so well thought of and structured that it can cater to anybody’s need. I didn’t have a need when joined; it catered to me as well. Toastmasters helped me understand my strength as a speaker and exposed the dents and holes that required immediate attention to make me a better speaker. Communication is a vital tool. I never knew saying it right made so much of difference in establishing our personal relations, winning deals in business, and sealing victories at work. The power to move the world lies in your communication, the ability to articulate. Over these two years, I have paused to observe many situations where, it is miscommunication that has lead to a grave issue, be it personal or professional life. It is sad that, most of us aren’t even aware that our simple unintentional words create havocs. Even if some of us do, we are left clueless, how to alter? We once again misinterpret it to be our behavior. Our behaviors’ are camouflaged by our words, shed the dry leaves, and use the power of words to reveal yourself. The art of communicating can be revered when the same message gets interpreted by different recipients in one and the only way you intended it to be.

How can I leave behind the leadership opportunities that a Toastmaster club offers you? As one focuses on communicating, even before one can realize, Toastmasters will groom the individual’s leadership abilities. I learnt the rendition of the word ‘Leader’ here. My stint at leading the club from front was the most rewarding experience, a leader can forge ahead getting the team together searching for higher ground or just stay still in the comfort of the past glory. Neither of this is as easy as it may sound. Any role that bestows responsibility will help you shape your personality. It did to me. I can add adjectives to my experience but to put it simple and keep it effective, I found the depth of many attributes associated with a leader.

Out of the many things that I learnt the most important learning is; to open the doors to a new world, it is just not enough if you hold the right key, YOU should use it.

I found Toastmasters to be the forum to communicate, collaborate and rejuvenate. June’2010 would earmark my three year journey with Toastmasters. What have I achieved? CC and ALB! Nah, the learning’s at every meeting can’t be accounted for in those education tracks. Experiences go beyond.

I take this opportunity to thank Expressions HCL Toastmaster club for nurturing me, wordsmiths club for accepting me as their own, Chennai Toastmasters for being there always, not to forget the Toastmasters from various other clubs I have been associated with.

Communicate sans barrier to live by your aspirations.

Dec 2009 - My tryst with Psychology

A break in blogging is inevitable. Instead of rambling over why I wasn’t here, I shall get to sharing what I have missed. Into a new year and so many random thoughts entwined, though I ended 2009 in the most enchanting way.

Ten days away from home for the first time ever in my life, but didn’t feel what one is suppose to ;-) I was looking forward to the opportunity and to the fact that I am finally getting back to studying and studying something that has always intrigued me. The Human Behaviour. It wasn’t any way disappointing, imagine being in a class packed with people from all over the country and of various age groups. Quite an experience! The lectures were no way boring, good food for thought. The schedule was tight that one could never realize anything beyond the present. Experiencing to Live in the present by itself was a worthy experience, how many times does one get to do that in our everyday routine? Though time was hard to account, it wasn’t really strenuous and didn’t demand one to break free. To add to the beauty to the days, i had a good old friend of mine as a companion to partner with me in this aberrant choice of mine. Yes, it did bring in another pleasant dimension to the whole rendezvous. We spent most of the evening talking about people and psychology and wondering if at all our busy urban lifestyle would permit us to take any of these learning’s in? Talking was one activity that we did from dawn to dusk. When you get to do what you want, you tend to add distinctness to your act which you never would otherwise. That’s what we did. At the end of 10 long days, we did want to head back home, but definitely knew we will miss the very feeling of being with the self. 2 months after the classes, still feels fresh. Looking forward to the classes next year.

A nice road trip, with many special moments and enthralling experiences wrapped up the year. I didn't know then it would be a beginning..

Life's Learnings - Learnt the hard way

When your heart is heavy with bitter emotions and your mind is clogged with thoughts, writing is the simplest option to ease your nerves. It is altogether a different debate on what causes your heart to weigh heavy and your mind to be clogged. I often feel it is the aspirations and expectations that one looks for in life. what would keep us going if we didn't have a destination to reach, we would just be left where we are.

It is very important and necessary to envision your destination , do all you can to discover the righteous path to that destination and yet not expect an outcome, for those who fantasize their destination will only end up being hurt, now or another day. One can only set his eyes on the destination, but never will know the nature of the destination till he belongs there, And what you get does not necessarily depend on the righteous path you took , many parameters beyond your own comprehension might steal that fantasy away from you.

To just save you from the apathy of a heavy heart and clogged mind, behold your fantasies, never set expectations for there is no righteousness that can be measured. Alas, you and i are humans and would have to evolve to unlearn our characteristic trait of setting expectations.